Reforming/Velvet Elvis

So today, my friend Tyler and I had a conversation at Smoothie Factory. It was a really good convo we had. I mentioned the book Velvet Elvis that was given to me by a friend last summer, the summer of 2008. I read the first two chapters of it and stopped and I have not touched it since. Tonight, I started it from the beginning; Tyler said that he thinks I would really get a lot out of it and learn a lot if I take the time to read it thoroughly at this point in my life.

I am completely tired of trying to be reformed. It usually eventually leads me back to what I was doing before I wasn't reformed. I need to focus more on reforming, because when something is reformed, that's it, it is over. But when something is reforming, it is endless, the process continuously grows and the different aspects of this reforming can actually be revisited & rethought. I have realized that when one decides to try and be reformed, or renewed, it usually ends up being transient, because you are more focused on being reformed rather than reforming. It has come to my attention today that I have to embrace what ever will help me be more and more the person God really wants me to be. I need to fully be motivated about reforming my life rather than allow it to be reformed. This motivation basically needs to come from myself. All bullshit aside, I need to do it for myself and not constantly rely on the accountability of others, because these others will not always be there for me, these others are not endless people and also don't have endless time, generosity, or capabilities for me. When you rely on the accountability of someone else and then that person ends up not having the time or energy to handle it, then your left alone to dry up. That is why it needs to be just you and God and understand that God will never leave you there to dry up. When you stray away from God He will watch you waste your life away by the meaningless binge drinking and beer pong, but in the end, if you drop all that crap and just let go of what is really getting in the way of you and Jesus and seek Him NON STOP, no matter who is holding you accountable or not, then everything will work out, and your faith will not fade away. God's love is endless.

I typed a excerpt from Velvet Elvis to my friend Ryan today just to see hat he said because Ryan is VERY intelligent and insightful: "Christian faith is alive only when it is listening, morphing, innovating, letting go of whatever has gotten in the way of Jesusand embracing what ever will help us be more and more the people God wants us to be."
Ryan's personal response to that was phenomenal:

Ryan said, "Christian faith lives when one takes the advice given, the hours spent, the tears cried, and the late nights praying for friends who struggle, and then the person applies it to their life and the person lives differently.
Christian faith dies when people live like Jesus and his followers advice is something to agree with but nothing to apply and live by.
Christian faith dies when people think that a belief in Jesus alone is actually doing something for the Kingdom, instead of living different and challenge the wickedness of the world.----That's faith."

That definitly hit home for me, because I obviously knew what my friend Ryan was referring to, yet at the same time, I definitly felt a good amount of conviction in my heart.

I am "aware that this life is not the last painting" so I am going to start some reforming in Rudy's life rather then rely on being reformed, because as some of you know, every time I become reformed I skew it and there is no room for growth being reformed because when you're reformed that is it, it's final, so then you fall back on what you knew before you were reformed, and then it just turns into a cycle of a waste of time.

People always say that you never know what you got until it's gone. I heard today that you never know what you got until you throw it away.

P.S. If you haven't heard Fellowship Church's album "Closer to the Start" you should. It is phenomenal!! Thanks for that cd by the way Tyler!

"What do we do to love the world? Wake up wake up. The world is just right outside your door. You never know, you might have the love that they've been waiting for!"